a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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