i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
