I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
