So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
