I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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