im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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