I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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