well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
