Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
