we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You did what with his pubic hair?
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