Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
