im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
