I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
smell my finger.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
