Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
