Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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