My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
