she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
