There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
