mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
