I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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