can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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