Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
