No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
