You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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