someone threw a dead crab at me
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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