I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
