Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You can't special order awesome
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
