I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
