dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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