i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
