So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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