Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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