if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
