She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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