We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
