I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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