Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
