i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
