So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
