Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
