someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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