i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i think i just naturally attract stoners
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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