btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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