its not stalking. its research.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
