that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
