I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
