I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
