If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
