Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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