apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It's never too late to be topless.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
This baby is an asshole
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
