So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
